In this episode I talk about ….Actually, this isn't a typical show, no transitions or theme song — I'm just gonna get started. If you don't know me, I'm Regis Jack, aka the Philacted Disphor, and this is Distracted Euphoria.
This is episode s10e43(408) for Monday, November 27, 2017 and clocked in at 11 minutes, 55 seconds
People are horrible. People are Angry. People are physically aggressive. Passive aggressive. Aggressive regressive. It's not any particular race or gender or — anything — it's everyone. Even Alexa gives me attitude when I ask for the weather. Except maybe that Dalai Lama guy, he seems pretty cool. But it's easy to not be angry when you spend most of your time away from society, away from news, or isolate yourself (or an isolated group) in meditation. Well, maybe not easy, but it helps.
But when faced with society every day, news every day, work every day, people everyday — people are horrible — and people get angry.
People get angry because in our society, violence is ok — it's sex that's not. We glorify violence in media. We say things like, "Imma gonna kill you!" Even when we don't literally mean it. Or do we literally mean it? The answers are not binary. The answers are not, as people say, black and white. They are shades of life that change the color of the situation.
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words … words are the most powerful things in existence. They cause wars, peace, hate, love, and they incite people to action to help or to harm. And now with twitter you can destroy your life or your family or your friends in up to 280 characters! We have the right to free speech but not the freedom from consequences of that speech. People hate consequences. It means owning up to what they said. Standing behind it.
But we are afraid. Afraid of being wrong. Afraid of people seeing us as we are and judging us negatively. These fear triggers our flight or fight response. Many people will fight no matter how wrong they are. They are afraid to back down. Their biology won't let them.
This is because we don't teach people to deal with being human. This should start early in our lives — from birth. But we don't, because it takes time and it's difficult and we don't have time for difficult things. We ignore difficult things until it's too late to do anything about them. We are too worried about the innocence of our children — which we should be — but not at the expense of leaving them in the dark about how life works.
There is an internal struggle inside all of us and we are not equipped to deal with it - and no one is going to spoon feed us the solution. So we go off the deep end and go to extremes because we can't face what's inside.
This is because we don't teach humans basic things like:
- Common Courtesy
- Equality of genders
- How to calm the mind
- How to make decisions
- How to deal with your feelings
- How men have feelings and that's ok
- How to deal with depression and that everyone WILL be depressed at some point
- That suicidal thought are ok — suicidal actions are not
- That women are equal to men (although they have different strengths and weaknesses)
- How NOT to rape a woman, how NOT to sexually assault a woman, basically teach men about consent (and yes, this is important because men actually don't understand consent)
- How NOT to get a female pregnant (This is NOT obvious to a great many people) and how younger women get pregnant sooooo much easier
- How to handle a firearm (safety and usage). I say this because I went to the grocery store recently and found a small section of toys. There were 4 different toy guns. 2 of which are cap guns - remember those? They still exist. So we should tech gun safety if we are going to give or sell toy guns.
But until then, what are we to do? I try to educate myself and dive into the philosophical. When I do that I eventually ask myself, what is my life? I’m not talking purpose — I realize my purpose, I’m a professional cunt — but what is life?
Does it continue on after death? Is death really just the end? Please say yes. I’m actually really looking forward to death being the very end. Makes everything so simple in an existence that is so complex. I’m terrified there is a God — a racist god who finds some people unequal — I find that scarier then a hell of infinite torment. And really, infinite torment? I get like 80 years in life (or less ) to learn and prove myself and if I don't get it exactly right, I'm tortured for eternity? Eternity? How fair is that? It’s going to take me my entire life here to figure out why I exist (and I probably won’t figure that out). Maybe hell should torture me for 80 years (or how ever long I live) and then send me back to try again.
But I still ask myself, is there a God? Is there not a God? How does infinity exist? How did this universe start, how will it end? What am I? Who am I? How can I only live a minuscule fraction of the time of the universe? What if God exists and I live for eternity? What is eternity? Is it really eternity? Won’t I get board after the first 10 billion years in heaven? What new discoveries will exist there? Would I exist like I do here? And if I get ALL knowledge, then what? My drive is to learn, but when all knowledge is known — that sounds like eternal torture. Or are you saying we change in heaven and don’t have those drives anymore? So I won’t want sex in heaven? Will there be weed? If I am not the same in heaven as I am here, then it’s not me anymore and none of this matters. I will end at death.
I think of things like this to try to understand, but at the same time it depresses me. It saddens me. I stare into the abyss of existence, time, and infinity and think - how do I make it stop?
Please make it stop. Make it stop. Stop the anger. Stop the hatred. Stop everything. Stop existence.
I am taking the advice of a great prophet, Morty Smith who said, "Well then get your shit together, get it all together and put it in a back pack, all your shit, so it's together. [pause] And if you gotta take it some where, take it somewhere, you know, take it to the shit store and sell it, or put it in the shit museum. I don't care what you do, you just gotta get it together. [pause] Get your shit together."
Sage advice from such a young person.
As I get my metaphorical shit together, along with upcoming travel plans, holidays, suicide pacts, etc, I'm gonna take a break from the podcast — which isn't unusual for this time of year, except this time I'm giving you a heads up. I will return on January 15ish. I'm not walking away from social media, or uninstalling facebook — people who do that have issues — I'm just gonna live my life in harmony with those things. I'm gonna read. I'm gonna write. I'm gonna … it's not important what I do. I'm just going to live.
That being said, if a podcast does show up during that time — don't be shocked. This is how I feel right now. That may change at any moment. It could change now. Or now. Or ………… now!