An Ode to Snot

Oh Snot, where does thou come from?Oh Snot, why do you keep coming? Oh Snot, why won't you stop? Oh Snot, for the love of what ever god you believe in, please stop, you are killing me. My brains are leaking out my nose!!!! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

So I've had the pleasure of being down and out all weekend due to allergies. I'm not sure if they are season allergies or vindictive ones, but they are here. The most wonderful part is that it started Friday afternoon. No better way to frack up your weekend the to start off sniffling, sneezing, hacking and other disgusting bodily functions.

My biggest concern is - where does all this snot come from? I've blown my nose through an entire box of Puffs and yet the snot keeps coming. It's like there is a factory of snot inside my nose that is on its way to produce a world record level of snot. And whatever the snot is trying to do is not working. It's not helping in any way, shape or form. It just makes it difficult for me to breathe and sleep and sit and stand and everything!

So I'd thought I research into snot to see what I could find. Wikipedia has this to say about snot:

Snot is slang for nasal mucus or dried nasal mucus, but it may also refer to:

  • Snot (band), a rock band (1995-1998; 2008)
  • Snott, a character from the video game Earthworm Jim
  • Snot (American Dad!), a character from the US television show American Dad!
  • Sid Snot, an ageing biker character performed by Kenny Everett

The most important one on the list is Snott, the sidekick for Earthworm Jim. I loved Earthworm Jim, Peter Puppy, Professor Monkey-for-a-head and others. It was a great TV series. One of my favorite episodes introduced me to the International House of Haggis.

Another cool one is Snot from American Dad! - they guy who does his voice played Booger from Revenge of the Nerds.

But I digress.

Now, I'm not a doctor, but without going into too many details, the more I read the more it sounded like the purpose of this "mucus" (along with other things) is to "prevent foreign objects from enter the lungs during breathing." But that doesn't work. You know why? Because now I have to breathe through my mouth! So, as usual, the human body overreacts.

Wait a minute.... There was an episode of Beakman's World where he covered snot (from inside a giant nose) - Netflix has that series now, I'll go find that episode - and maybe I'll learn something.

... time passes ...

And I'm back from watching Beakman's World, Season 1, Episode 3 - where the team do a physical demonstration of snot. It's disgusting, but informative. I did learn something. I just don't remember what.

Anyway, I have to go blow my nose a few hundred times - again.

*** Additional Note: It has been determined that these are dog/animal related allergies. Brought indirectly to me by my own friends and family (none of them are allergic, but it carried on everything they had).

*** Additional Addtional Note: Beakman's World is a great show. I hadn't seen it in ages. Very entertaining to watch and must have been fun to make.