Santa Claus Is Coming For You

Warning: This is not meant to be read by children or anyone who is offended by, well anything.

It's that time of year when we celebrate the man of the season, that jolly old elf, the stranger from the manger - wait, strike that last one, that's what Christmas is REALLY about.  I'm talking about Kris Kringle, aka Saint Nickolas (or just St. Nick for short), aka Father Christmas, aka Santa Claus.

No matter what name you refer to him as, he will always be Santa Claus to me.  And when I think of him I think of the North Pole, Mrs. Claus, his elves that make the toys, his sleigh and flying reindeer - Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen and Rudolph (by a strange coincidence those are the name of the strippers I saw last night).  But the most important thought that comes to mind is that Santa is magic for children, but not for me.  For me, I see his evil purpose.

Santa represents evil.  There is no question about it.  His story has been twisted over the years so now he is appears as some kind of Saint.  But I see the truth and I'm going to impart my wisdom on you, so that you can learn and teach others.

Let's start from his biblical origins - Revelation 12:9.  Now this is not a biblical commentary, so I'm not going to go into details of Revelation.  Just note that this chapter references the war in heaven where Satan was cast out.  I've included two version of this verse.

(King James Version) "And the great dragon was cast out, that old serpent, called the Devil, and Satan, which deceiveth the whole world: he was cast out into the earth, and his angels were cast out with him."

(New International Version) "The great dragon was hurled down-that ancient serpent called the devil, or Satan, who leads the whole world astray. He was hurled to the earth, and his angels with him."

Could it be that "Santa" is a mistranslation (over time) of Satan?  The only difference is ‘nta' instead of ‘tan'.  Is it possible the location "Satan" was cast out to is the North Pole?  The "angels" cast out with him may very well be the "elves" we hear about today.

Let's look at some other similarities:

  • Santa wears black boots, while Satan is known to have black hooves.
  • Santa wears a red suit, while Satan is depicted as having red skin.
  • Santa is jolly, while Satan is evil - but is always shown as enjoying his evil deeds.
  • The jolly, "Ho, Ho, Ho" laugh of Santa is not much different then the maniacal laugh of Satan.
  • Both are very old - almost timeless.
  • Santa has his sleigh with flying reindeer - Satan has his chariot with horned flying demons.
  • Santa bring coal to the bad children - the coal is to remind them of hell.
  • Santa is tempting the children to worship him, not God - do I even have to explain Satan's agenda?
  • Santa is a distraction to get us away from the true meaning of Christmas (sounds evil to me).

But my larges issue with Santa is that he is a living promotion of the 7 deadly sins.

  • The Sin of Pride: Santa brings presents to the children who are proud of what hey have received so they can show the other kids, "Look at what I got!"
  • The Sin of Envy: Kids are envious of the presents others get.
  • The Sin of Wrath: Kids get angry if they don't get what they wanted.
  • The Sin of Sloth: By Dante's definition, a failure to love God - Kids love Santa, not God.
  • The Sin of Greed: Obviously because kids want, want, want more and more.
  • The Sin of Gluttony: Santa is the picture of gluttony. Kids give cookies and milk to make him even fatter.
  • The Sin of Lust: Lust is temptation and Santa tempts children with presents.

That's the way I see it; sorry you had to read it.

Note: there is more Christmas and Santa stuff on Satan's Jello Chunks episode #26 available now at regisjack.com