Birthday

Today I am older. Others seem to be younger, quicker, and have more hair. Don't get me wrong, I don't wish to be younger (or have hair for that matter). I'm fine with my age. I'm not going to buy a sports car or start to believe that younger women find me attractive. By getting older I'm losing yet another year of my life. Another year where I have not accomplished what I wanted (whatever that may be). For that I blame myself. I've been wallowing in self pity for years as my relationship decays into... whatever. And during that time, my life has taken a back seat to trying to save what may have already been lost. I've done my part and said my piece – it's no longer up to me. My life has not been wasted, but I could have done more.

Today is my birthday.
It's not happy, it just is.

Today I take a long look at my life.
But I cannot see, for I am blinded.
Blinded because I cannot feel.
For I am numb.

People have changed around me.
But I have not seen.
For I am numb.

Places have changed around me.
But I have not seen.
For I am numb.

I've been following a path.
I know not where it leads.
I don't like where it is going.

I must follow a new path.
I know not where it leads.
But I must change direction.
Before I take my own life.

Happiness is overrated.
Sex is not needed.
Love is no longer desired.
These are all lies.

I am no longer looking for Happiness.
I am no longer looking for Sex.
I am no longer looking for Love.
These are all true.

Today is my birthday.
It's not happy, it just is.